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Internal Conflicts in Hamlet
ESTIMATED RANGE
Grades are inherently subjective—this range reflects high confidence, not certainty. What matters most: acting on the feedback will move your grade in the right direction.
What you did well
Clear and Insightful Thesis
The essay presents a precise thesis statement that directly addresses the assignment by identifying key internal conflicts and their impact on Hamlet's character and fate.
“This essay argues that Hamlet's internal conflicts—particularly his struggle between the obligation to avenge his father and his philosophical questioning of that obligation—define his character and ultimately lead to his tragic fate.”
Strong Character Psychology Analysis
The essay excels in exploring Hamlet's internal conflicts, such as thought vs. action, with nuanced insights into his paralysis and philosophical depth, aligning perfectly with the focus area.
“Analysis of soliloquies like "To be, or not to be" and references to over-analysis as "his defining characteristic and his fatal flaw."”
Effective Integration of Textual Evidence
Quotes are well-chosen, relevant, and smoothly integrated to support claims, demonstrating strong command of textual evidence as per the rubric.
“"The play's the thing / Wherein I'll catch the conscience of the King" (2.2.604-605) used to illustrate Hamlet's need for proof; proper MLA formatting throughout.”
Logical Structure and Transitions
The essay follows a clear progression from introduction to conflicts, development, relationships, resolution, and conclusion, with smooth transitions enhancing readability.
How you can enhance your essay
Deeper Exploration of Conflict Resolution
While the resolution in Act 5 is addressed, it could be analyzed more thoroughly to show how specific events lead to Hamlet's change.
Expand the final act analysis with additional quotes and connect it explicitly to earlier conflicts.
- Include analysis of Hamlet's letter to Horatio or his final soliloquy for more evidence.
- Compare pre- and post-England Hamlet more directly.
Broader Incorporation of Themes and Motifs
The essay identifies conflicts well but could enhance literary analysis by linking them to play-wide motifs like madness or corruption for deeper insight.
Weave in motifs such as the theme of appearance vs. reality throughout the analysis.
- Reference the Ghost's ambiguity earlier.
- Discuss how the play-within-a-play motif underscores Hamlet's intellect.
Enhanced Quote Explanation Depth
Quotes are integrated smoothly, but some explanations could delve deeper into word choice or implications to elevate critical analysis.
After each quote, analyze specific language (e.g., diction, imagery) and its revelation of psychology.
- For "the native hue of resolution / Is sicklied o'er...", unpack metaphors of color and sickness.
Grammar, style, and mechanics
Maintain formal tone consistently; avoid casual phrases like "thinks—perhaps too much"—revise to "engages in excessive contemplation" for precision.
Vary sentence length more; some paragraphs have long, complex sentences—break them up for better rhythm.
Strong word choice overall, but elevate with more precise terms like "indecision" instead of repeating "hesitates"; avoid repetition of "conflict".
Excellent use of em-dashes for emphasis; ensure consistency in quote punctuation per MLA (e.g., periods inside quotes).
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English Lit Student, Oxford
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